


Lost

by ImaginationisKey996



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, a lil angsty, nothing major, so its all good
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-03 00:38:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6589642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaginationisKey996/pseuds/ImaginationisKey996
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaebum and his roommate aren't friends.  He has no problem with Youngjae they just aren't close but when Youngjae goes missing one night that might change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was incredibly warm outside for midnight, especially in February. Still, there was snow dripping from the tree branches hanging out over the street and little shoots of grass that had poked their blades up a little too early and would, no doubt be obliterated within the next couple of nights by the bitter, late winter wind.

It was a Friday night and almost everyone was inside their dorms or at house parties off campus. Almost everyone, because walking down the pathways between the residences was a gruff looking student with broad shoulders and dark hair, wearing a windbreaker and jeans, grumbling to himself as the melting snow splattered from the trees onto the pavement around him. 

Jaebum was on his way to one of the freshman’s dorms after receiving a garbled and frantic phone call informing him that his roommate was missing. Now, Jaebum and his roommate were not particularly close. They had been assigned to rooms with a shared bathroom by the university at the beginning of the year because neither of them had roommates and there were only double rooms available when they had applied. Jaebum’s previous roommate and best friend, Jinyoung, had decided that for his third year he wanted to be an RA and with the responsibilities of caring for the freshmen came a double room all to himself and this left Jaebum without a roommate. He spent so much time at the recording studio at the school that he decided it didn’t make much sense for him to live off campus. His new roommate had evidently thought the same thing because on moving day Jaebum was greeted with a large, boxy smile, fluffy cheeks that pushed angled eyes into little half moons and an excited, louder than strictly necessary “Hello! My names Youngjae and I’m going to be your roommate this year!” The boy, Youngjae he had said, then stuck out his hand for Jaebum to shake and waited for Jaebum to introduce himself. 

“Jaebum.” He had said. Simple and to the point, he thought. Evidently Youngjae didn’t appreciate his succinctness because his smile started to drop from his face as an uncomfortable silence descended over the pair. 

“Well, it was nice to meet you! you must be busy unpacking though so I’ll just leave you to it.” He said and with a quick bow goodbye, he scampered down the hall to his room and slipped inside. 

They hadn’t really spoken much after that, exchanging pleasantries as Jaebum finished getting ready in their shared bathroom in the morning and Youngjae started. Well, more like Youngjae saying a sleepy good morning and Jaebum grunting in response. They didn’t really share any classes either. Despite both being music and voice majors, Jaebum was a year ahead of Youngjae. What really mattered was that Youngjae and Jaebum weren’t really friends. They got along fine but they weren’t close and honestly didn’t really know that much about one another besides sharing some of the same friends. Now Jaebum was on his way to some freshman named Yugyeom’s dorm at midnight on a Friday because of some ridiculous half drunken phone call. Jaebum was concerned, of course. There were about four things he knew about Youngjae. He had one of the most beautiful voices Jaebum had ever had the pleasure of hearing, he was ridiculously naive and sweet, like a little ball of sunshine, he had an incredibly difficult time waking up in the morning, no matter how much sleep he got, and he was a wanderer. It wasn’t hard to imagine the younger boy wandering around campus simply because something had caught his attention and he had followed it until he couldn’t find his way back to Yugyeom’s dorm room. 

When he arrived at the dorm he had been directed to, he knocked on the door and waited for a response. He was just about to knock again when the door swung open revealing a stick of a man, tall and ridiculously skinny, eyebrows drawn together in concern. 

“Hi. We are actually mid crisis right now so if you could come back later that would be swell.” the boy standing in the door way said. Just then another boy came around the door to see who was out side. He was taller than the first and much broader with a lot more muscle.

“Oooooooh shit! You must be Jaebum!” He exclaimed reaching out for a hand shake. “I almost forgot we called you. We were in such a panic about Youngjae. I’m Yugyeom and this is Kunpimook, but most people just call him Bam Bam.” Bam Bam narrowed his eyes, but held out his hand for Jaebum to shake as well. “Come in, come in!” Yugyeom said wobbling a little as he made his way back into the room beckoning for Jaebum to follow.

There were bottles of soju in little clusters all around the couch and The Avengers was paused on the television. “What exactly happened here?” Jaebum asked. He turned to look at the other two, standing side by side. Yugyeom had his arm wrapped around Bam Bam’s waist, and Bam Bam’s fingers were tangled in the back of Yugyeom’s shirt, eyes still narrowed at Jaebum. 

“Well, the three of us were just drinking and watching a movie and Bam Bam and I got…” Yugeom’s eyes darted down to Bam Bam’s lips and then back up to Jaebum. “Distracted.”

“Next thing we know, we look up and Youngjae is gone.” Bam Bam finishes. “And, like, it’s normal for him to go wandering when he’s been drinking but he always makes sure to text us where he’s going and to text us when he gets home. Normally he goes to Jackson and Mark’s house to play with their dog but after about an hour of nothing we phoned them and they said they hadn’t seen him.”

“So then we called you to see if he had gone home—“

“ But he wasn’t there.” Jaebum says. “Exactly! So now we have no idea where he could be. Jackson and Mark have a car so they're looking at all his favourite spots around town.”

Jaebum sighed. The underlying current of worry he had felt when he was walking over was slowly rising to the forefront of his thoughts. Sure, he and Youngjae weren’t friends but he didn’t want the little ball of sunshine to die.

“Okay, let’s split up. Yugeom start at one end of the campus and I’ll start at the other and Bam Bam can stay here just in case he comes back. I’ll call my friend Jinyoung and get him to wait at my room in case he goes there.”

And with that Jaebum found himself walking around the far end of the campus dialing Jinyoung’s phone number and waiting for him to answer. Jinyoung was less than happy about being disturbed that late at night having just returned from the library but when Jaebum filled him in on the situation his annoyance immediately turned to worry. He agreed to wait at Jaebum’s dorm just in case Youngjae showed up. 

With that out of the way Jaebum began to focus on the task at hand. He was pacing down the sidewalk when he heard a faint but unmistakably familiar melody weaving through the air. He turned his head trying to pinpoint the sound. The campus gardens. He should have guessed. 

He pushed the gate to the gardens open and followed the melody as it lead him under the canopy of trees with the beginnings of blossoms pushing out due to the warmth of the air and despite the snow. Some flowers had even begun to bloom. Hints of purple, yellow, orange and blue peeked out of the melting snow, glistening in the light of the full moon. Jaebum could see why Youngjae had come hear. The soft murmur of the little stream that ran through the gardens and the sweet musky scent of early blooming lavender soothed away the tension and stress that Jaebum hadn’t even known was there.

As he followed the sweet melody into a little clearing the last of his tension faded away. The unmistakable silhouette of Youngjae sitting next to a little pond making him breath out a sigh of relief. He quickly texted Yugyeom that he had found Youngjae and turned off his phone. He walked up as quietly as he could, trying not to startle the boy. When Jaebum crouched down next to him, Youngjae didn’t even look over, too preoccupied with watching the little koi fish circle around each other in the moonlit pond. Eventually Youngjae fell silent. They just sat like that for a while. Jaebum crouching, watching Youngjae, waiting for him to say something, not wanting to break whatever spell had descended on this little clearing. And Youngjae watched the fish.

Suddenly he pointed to one and said, “That one is you.” It was the biggest fish in the pond. Mostly black with little gold speckles along its back and fins. “And that one is your friend. Jinyoung, right?” he said, pointing at a slightly smaller fish that was mostly orange with big white patches around its head. His fish and the Jinyoung fish were swimming close together, around and around, scooping up all the algae and insects in that area in their weird gaping mouths. Jaebum decided to play along. From where he was crouching he pointed to two mostly orange fish with matching white patches on opposite sides of their faces swimming close together. “Those two are Yugyeom and Bam Bam, then.” And Youngjae smiled at him, making eye contact for the first time that night. Suddenly, a bigger white fish leapt through the air snapping at the bugs that hovered over the pond. Youngjae laughed as the spray hit him in the face, cheeks pushing his eyes up into little crescents. 

“That one’s Jackson.” said Youngjae as another smaller fish jumped even higher into the air. “And that one is Mark!” Jaebum would question how drunk Youngjae was if it weren't for the incredible accuracy of everything he was saying. He had met Jackson and Mark a couple of time because they were in the same year as him and Mark was dating Jinyoung. Plus they were dance majors so their classes took place in the same building. 

Jaebum shrugged off his jacket and spread it on the ground, sitting as he asked, “So which fish are you?”

Youngjae immediately sobered up, smile dropping from his face at the speed of light as Youngjae pointed to the pond. 

“That one.”

Jaebum followed the direction of Youngjae’s outstretched arm squinting to see further into the inky depths of the pond where even the moonlight didn’t reach. Resting just on the edge of the blackness, close to the bottom of the pond was a little white fish. It moved slowly through the water, almost lethargic in its movement. Where the other fish preferred to stay near the shore just in case a student happened to drop some tasty treats into the water, this little fish stayed in the depths by itself.

Jaebum continued to watch the little fish, trying to figure out what it was about it that reminded Youngjae of himself. As it swam out of the darkness and tried to approach the other fish they all just sort of swam away, staying in their little pairs leaving the little white fish all alone. Jaebum turned to look at Youngjae only to see him rubbing furiously at his eyes trying to prevent the tears that were threatening to spill over. Jaebum felt an odd sense of protectiveness well up inside his chest and reached out toward Youngjae, laying a hand on the back of his neck, rubbing gently. Tears continued to spill down Youngjae’s cheeks as he sniffled and took shaky, hiccupping breaths tried to calm himself down. Jaebum didn’t know what to say so he just pulled Youngjae into his side, arm wrapped around his shoulder waiting for him to speak. Youngjae’s entire body was cold, despite the relatively warm weather, leaving Jaebum to wonder how long Youngjae had been out there before Yugyeom and Bam Bam had noticed. Another surge of protectiveness welled up inside him as Youngjae turned his head and snuggled closer into Jaebum’s side seeking warmth and comfort as his tears started to subside and his breathing started to even out. 

“You know it isn’t really like that, right?” Jaebum asked.

“I know.” Youngjae practically whispered, face still buried in Jaebum’s neck. “Sometimes it just feels like everyone is paring off and I’ll be left alone. You know, like one day all my friends are gonna go out and get married and I’ll just be waiting there to be someones first choice.” Youngjae’s voice starts to wobble again and Jaebum can’t do anything but hold him tight. “And I know it’s not their fault. You can’t control who you fall in love with. It’s not their fault that I’ll never be anyones first choice so why do I still feel this way? I every minute I spend around Bam Bam and Yugyeom I feel worse and worse.”

“So you ran away?” Jaebum asks, a little incredulous because all of the times he’s been around Youngjae he seemed nothing but smiles and vocal skill coupled with a charming naivety about his own talents that made him humble beyond belief. Jaebum would never have suspected that he worried about these kinds of things. 

Youngjae finally pulls his head away from Jaebum’s neck and he immediately misses the warmth. “It’s ridiculous I know. I don’t even really know you! I’m pretty sure you hate me and now I’ve gone gotten my tears all over your shirt. This is why I shouldn’t drink.”

Jaebum cocked his head to the side. “I don’t hate you. Granted I don’t really know you but I certainly don’t hate you. Why would you think that?”

Youngjae looks genuinely surprised at this. “Well, you always seem so grumpy when I try to talk to you so I thought it was just your personality but your always laughing with Jinyoung and even Mark and Jackson. So I figured it must just be me.” 

“Have you been actively avoiding me then?”

“Well I just figured it would be easier for everyone if I just stayed out of your hair. That way you wouldn’t have to be so angry all the time. I tried to switch rooms but they said that everything was full so…”

Jaebum laughed a little at this. No wonder he never saw his roommate. “Lets start over okay? Hi. My name is Im Jaebum. I’m a third year student and I study music and voice. What about you?”

“Choi Youngjae. Second Year and I study music and voice as well.” 

They sat together on Jaebum’s windbreaker in the melting snow talking about mundane things and getting to know each other better. Jaebum learned that Youngjae played the piano and in return he told Youngjae about his past b-boying. They fell into companionable silence as the sun began to rise over their heads, painting the sky with cotton candy pinks and lavender purples. It was in that silence that Jaebum heard the faint sound of snoring and he realized that Youngjae had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Jaebum shifted as gently as he could with out disturbing his roommate, scooping him up into his arms along with his windbreaker. Youngjae was small and light and the walk to their dorm was less than five minutes so Jaebum carried him to their dorm as the sun continued to rise and the little birds began to sing.

When Jaebum arrived at his dorm with Youngjae in his arms he knocked on his own door and waited for Jinyoung to open it for him. The door swung open to reveal Jinyoung, tired eyes and messy hair. Once he saw Youngjae in Jaebum’s arms he stepped out of the way and let Jaebum place Youngjae on the bed. Once Youngjae was settled Jinyoung immediately started fussing over him, tucking the blanket tightly around him and saying he was going to make tea for both of them. Youngjae could have his when he woke up. It couldn’t be good for anyone to stay out all night in the snow and with that he was gone and Jaebum was left alone with Youngjae’s sleeping form curled up in his bed. 

Jaebum looked at Youngjae’s peaceful sleeping face. It belied none of the worries that he had confessed the previous night. He could never mention it again and everything could go right back to the way it was before. But Jaebum didn’t want it to go back. Jaebum had found out that he genuinely liked Youngjae and it was becoming increasingly important that he know that there were people who cared about him. Not to mention the boy was simply adorable and they had a lot in common. He deserved to be loved and cared for and as the sunlight streamed through a little gap in the curtains and flittered across Younjae’s face Jaebum realized that he might be falling a little bit in love. 

“Oh well,” He thought. “That is another problem for another day.” and Jaebum promptly fell asleep in the big armchair in the corner of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ay! i finally got my laptop back. thanks everyone for the wonderful response and since a couple people wanted more i have written more! this one is just kind of an interlude chapter but I already have the rest planned out so I expect the whole thing will be done in a couple days. Thank you guys for all the support and I hope you enjoy the rest of the fic!

When Jaebum woke up the next morning he wasn’t surprised to find Youngjae still asleep, all tangled in the blankets on the bed. He looked so peaceful that Jaebum debated whether he should wake him up or let him sleep of the inevitable hangover. As it happened he didn’t need to decide because Youngjae started to stir. He snuffled a little bit and turned over on to his back, opening his eyes a little. Then he abruptly sat up, eyes wide, frantically looking around the room, no doubt realizing it wasn’t his own. 

“How are you feeling?” Jaebum asked from his place in the corner. Youngjae’s eyes snapped to him and he visibly relaxed shoulders sagging a little as he brought his hands up to cover his eyes, groaning.

“I don’t know. It feels like someone is drilling into my head and I think something died in my mouth while I was asleep.” Youngjae lifted his head out of his hands, brows furrowed. “Wait, did you sleep in that chair the whole night?” Jaebum nodded. “Aw man, you should of just made me sleep on the floor. Or left me in the gardens. Whatever. I didn’t mean to steal your bed from you.” Youngjae said, with a little pout. Jaebum wasn’t really sure why he hadn’t notice how absolutely adorable the younger was before. He was definitely making up for lost time on that front with how soft and sweet Youngjae currently looked. With sleepy eyes and ridiculous bed head, the lines of the pillow case still indented into his cheek. 

“I wasn’t just gonna leave you out in the woods, you idiot. Plus, it’s no big deal. I brought you here and if it was a problem I would have put you on the floor. But I was tired and you were already passed out. This was just convenient.” Jaebum responded grabbing a glass from his shelf and heading to the washroom to fill it with water as he talked. When he re-entered the room Youngjae was sitting up, cross legged, a light pink flush of embarrassment high on his cheeks. He handed the glass of water to Youngjae. 

“Ah, sorry about that. The whole night really. I didn’t expect to get like that.” He said with a sheepish grin and he thanked Jaebum for the water, taking a few sips before placing it on the bedside table. 

“I mean, normally when Bambam and Yugeom get like that I just ignore it but this time I guess it was too much for me. I’m sorry I ran away and I’m sorry I worried everyone. And thank you for finding me and bringing me home. You didn’t have to but you did anyway so its only fair that I owe you something, though I’m not really sure what I can offer.” Youngjae said, suddenly very serious. 

Jaebum didn’t know what to say. Nothing to offer? Youngjae thought that he had nothing to offer? Not only did Jaebum not feel like his minimal effort was anything that needed rewarding but now Youngjae had the audacity to say that he had nothing to offer. That his god damn sunshine personality wasn’t more than enough compensation? Jaebum shook his head appalled that Youngjae had been having such a hard time without telling anyone. He made up his mind right then. He and Youngjae were going to be friends no matter what. They would be best bros, homies, amigos even and if something more developed along the way, Jaebum certainly wouldn’t complain. 

“Do you want to go to the fair with me?” Youngjae looked at him, mouth parted a little in shock. It was cute. It was also a little sad. “I saw an ad when I was downtown and Jinyoung hates carnival rides so I figured you could come with me and we could call it even.” When Youngjae smiled it was brighter than the god damn sun. 

“Okay”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahAHA im garbage. two updates in one day as payment for not updating. I hope y'all like it. pls let me know what you think!

About an hour later, after having showered and changed the two arrived at the fair grounds. It was pretty early in the year still so there weren’t many people there but the boys were excited to have some carnival fun despite the chill in the air. 

Jaebum discovered a plethora of new information about Youngjae. He had a ridiculously well developed sweet tooth, showcased by the stick of cotton candy, the bag of mini donuts the two had shared and the ice cream cone he was currently eating. He could also hold his own when it came to carnival games. Jaebum had said that because he had invited Youngjae, he would win him something from one of the games. Then he promptly failed miserably at winning a little white dog plushie for the other boy who just stood off to the side, trying to hold in his laughter while Jaebum got increasingly angry at the ridiculous cardboard ducks he was supposed to be shooting. He grumble as he pulled out more tickets intending to play this game until he won, damn it, this was no longer about the damn plushie. This was about his pride, and those ridiculous little ducks were just taunting him.

Before he could hand over another bunch of tickets Youngjae’s hand on his arm stopped him. 

“Let me give it a try?” Youngjae asked, a small, amused smile quirking his lips upward. Jaebum sighed and resigned himself to waiting a few more minutes to destroy those god damn ducks. 

Youngjae handed over his tickets and took his place behind the toy gun. “I will avenge you, Jaebum!” He cried out. Then he proceeded to knock down every little cardboard duck in record time, winning his choice of any prize in the booth. Jaebum simply stared. 

“Wow what the hell! Why did you let me waste all my tickets on that game when you could have won a hundred times! How did you get so good at it anyways?”

Youngjae hummed thoughtfully as he perused the selection of plushies. “There was a travelling carnival that used to stop near where I lived when I was younger. My brother and sister would always take me down there and we would waste all of our allowance money on those stupid games. My brother taught me just the right way to aim to win and my sister was the master of ski-ball. One year we almost got banned because we kept winning all the prizes.” He chuckled fondly at the memory, distractedly stroking the ear of a small, grey stuffed cat. “Excuse me?” He said to the man running the booth. “I think I’m gonna take this one.” Youngjae lifted the grey cat examining it before turning to Jaebum. “For you. I know this trip was supposed to be me paying you back for taking care of me last night but I’m having a really great time so its not really adequate payback. I’m mean, this isn’t either but maybe its a start?”

Jaebum looked at Youngjae incredulously. Why couldn’t this kid just let go. Why couldn’t he understand that it’s okay to need help sometimes. Its okay to receive kindness without having to give anything in return. People deserved to be treated kindly without without owing anyone anything. Youngjae gave so much kindness to everyone he met so why couldn’t he just accept someone doing the same for him? 

Still, he took the little grey cat from Youngjae and looked at it. It sure was cute. It had little black button eyes, a long soft tail, a small nose sewn with pink thread and little triangle ears perched on top of its head. 

“This is perfect. We’re even now. No more owing anyone anything, okay? Just two friends hanging out at a carnival, having a good time.”

Youngjae perked up at that, eyes wide, lips lifted in a hopeful little smile. “We’re friends?” He asked, more than a little nervous. Jaebum wanted to cry. 

“Yes, Youngjae, we’re friends. I don’t come to carnivals with just anybody.” he said with a smirk. 

The smile he got in return was blinding. Wide and full of teeth, pushing Youngjae’s cheeks up and squishing his narrow, angled eyes into little crescent moons, sparkling in the sunlight. Jaebum wanted to cry for a different reason this time. 

 

Youngjae had gone off to get some dinner for the two of them while Jaebum had gone to find them somewhere to sit and eat. He had given Youngjae some money, insisting that he pay for dinner because Youngjae had paid for their snacks throughout the day. Youngjae didn’t give up without a fight, insisting that it was okay and that all food should be paid for by him considering that Jaebum was the one who invited him and introduced him to this carnival. Jaebum had held firm though despite the younger’s best efforts to budge him. He finally relented and said he’d go buy the food while Jaebum looked for a place to sit. 

So Jaebum was wandering around the carnival. Suddenly his phone buzzed in his pocket. A text from Jinyoung.

From JR:  
where are you? i went to check on you but you weren’t in your room. what happened after I left? is youngjae okay?

From JB:  
dude chill. we’re at the carnival. and hes fine

From JR:  
good. also we? who’d you drag into coming with you?

From JB:  
youngjae

From JR:  
ah, i see

From JB  
you see what?

From JR:  
you like him

From JB:  
no

From JR:  
don’t blame you. he's cute. and exactly your type

From JB:  
not true

From JR:  
sure. whatever you say sweetheart.

From JR:  
honestly im kinda surprised it took this long. when mark first told me about him i was sure you’d be all over that.

From JB:  
pls stop. i don’t like him like that. he just needs a friend.

From JR:  
it appears that the Nile isn’t just a river in Egypt

From JB:  
wow that was super lame

From: JR  
so are you. you like him and you are in denial. good news though. mark said that after the first time you two met youngjae wouldn't stop talking about how badly he had embarrassed himself in front of the handsome older guy he was going to be sharing a bathroom with.

From JR:  
he also wouldn’t shut up about how much he admired your compositions. one of the profs had shown it in his class and he loved it so he looked up your soundcloud and kept sending links to mark. then he found out that i was dating mark and that you and me were friends and he stopped gushing about you.

From JR:  
so basically. he likes you, you like him. please be careful with him. he isn’t fragile but he has a hard time opening up to new people. and you can be kind of… aggressive 

From JB:  
im not aggressive

From: JR  
You almost made Jackson cry the first time he sung for you

From JB:  
i was just being honest

From JR:  
no you were being mean

From JB:  
fine. but I apologized for that and anyway he’s much better know 

From: JR  
im just saying pls be careful. mark, jackson, yugeom and bambam really like him. hell I haven't even actually talked to him and i like him so don’t scare him away. he doesn’t have anyone else. 

From JB:  
i know

From JR:  
and hey, maybe if it goes well we can revive the old band with the addition of some knew members

From JB:  
u wish

 

 

Just then Youngjae spotted him and walked over with two corndogs in hand. when he reached Jaebum he handed his change back. Hold on. This wasn’t just his change, it was all the money he had given Youngjae to pay for their dinner!

“What the hell Youngjae.”

Youngjae took a big bite out of his corndog and smiled at Jaebum. 

“What? it was only like for bucks and I had some change I wanted to get rid of so I just used that.” 

Jaebum let out a huff and glared at Youngjae half heartedly, taking the other corn dog from him.  
“You’re not really mad, are you? Youngjae asked a nervous little tremble in his voice. Jaebum sighed.

“No, I’m not mad. But I swear next time I'm paying for everything.”

“Next time?”

“Well yeah. That’s what friends do right? They go places and hangout?”

“Okay, Next time.” Youngjae tried to hide his smile in another bite of corndog.

They finished their food quickly and try to brainstorm what to do next.

“Come on. Lets eat on the ferris wheel. Maybe if there is no one else on it we can ask the to stop it at the top so we can watch the sunset.” said Youngjae

“Uh,” Youngjae hesitated and Jaebum turned to look at him with a smile. Youngjae held in what ever he was going to say and just nodded his head trailing along behind Jaebum to the ferris wheel. They successfully convinced the person controlling the ferris wheel to stop it at the top since there was practically no one else in the park.

 

 

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me you were afraid of heights?”

“I was scared you would think I was lame! Plus you seemed excited about watching the sunset from here and I figured I could just suck it up and deal. It wouldn’t be too bad but then we got up here and everything is wiggly and oh my go we are going to _die!_ ” 

Youngjae was pressed up against the corner of their pod sitting on the little bench, hands gripping the bars, white knuckles and tense. 

“We aren't going to die.” Jaebum said. He also realized that there was no way they were going to be going down until the sun set all the way. That was the deal he had made with the ride operator. Another thing he learned about Youngjae today was that he had acrophobia, dictionary defined as and extreme fear of heights. Of course if he had know that he would never have asked Youngjae to get of the stupid ferris wheel to begin with. 

And know he had know idea what to do. Youngjae was breathing heavier and heavier, his whole body was trembling. At any second he could start hyperventilating or he could pass out. both would be very bad so Jaebum did the only thing he could think of. He reached out and grabbed Youngjae around the should pulling him into his chest and hugging him tight. Youngjae’s hands immediately came up around Jaebum’s back, fingers clutching the back of his shirt, his whole body trembling in Jaebum’s arms. It did seem to be working though. Youngjae let out a long shaky breath and buried his head further into Jaebum’s chest. Though Youngjae’s grip on his shirt didn’t loosen at all, his breathing started to even out and after a while he stopped shaking. 

 

So Jaebum watched the sunset on his own surrounded by the chilly air of early spring, while Youngjae buried his face into his chest and held onto him for dear life. Admittedly, Jaebum spent more time watching the boy in his arms than he did actually watching the sunset. And who could blame him. It was honestly one of the cutest things he had ever seen. Don’t get him wrong, he would never have gotten on the ferris wheel if he knew Youngjae was going to be uncomfortable or afraid but considering there wasn’t really anything he could do about it now besides comfort Youngjae, he gave himself permission to take stock of everything that was happening. 

An early spring sunset painted the sky pink and purple and robin’s egg blue. The air was cold but he was warmed by the boy snuggled up in his arms. He looked down at Youngjae, unable to resist the urge to run his fingers through his soft brown hair. Youngjae leaned into his hand just like a little kitten, sighing and snuggling even closer, if that was at all possible. Jaebum just kept running his fingers through Youngjae’s hair listening to his contented little sighs and, wow, Jaebum would be content to literally spend the rest of time like this. Tangled up with Youngjae, no need for any words, just content and quiet and oh so beautiful and—

 

Fuck.

Jinyoung might be right.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter but fear not I have lots of other 2jae stories planned so please stay tuned. also than you all so much for the support on this fic. its what makes me want to keep writing :)

After the whole ferris wheel debacle, Youngjae and Jaebum became much closer. They now had some kind of routine in place. Every Friday, they would get together, sometimes joined by Jinyoung and Mark or Jackson or Yugeom and Bambam but, for the most part, it was just the two of them. Jaebum would gather up all the blankets and pillows he owned and cart them through the bathroom to Youngjae’s room. They would either watch a film or play video games until the wee hours of the morning or until one or both of them fell asleep.

Tonight was one of those nights, late spring with summer and the end of term just around the corner. It was warm during the day but once the sun had set and the heat of the day had worn off it, the air could chill you to the bone. The wild flowers were in full bloom and the rain keep the earth soft and the grass dewy. Jaebum was currently piling blankets and pillows into his arms when he heard a soft knock on the door frame of the bathroom behind him. 

“I’m just grabbing my pillow, Youngjae,. You can start without me if you want.” Jaebum called behind him. 

“I was actually wondering if we could do something else tonight?”

Jaebum turned around to look at Youngjae. He was wearing a loose white t-shirt tucked into light wash jeans and brown boots that came up just past his ankles. He was also wearing his glasses, thin circular wire frames sliding down the bridge of his nose, which he didn’t wear often. And honestly, Jaebum was glad. He might actually die if he had to be around that much cute for an extended period of time. Jaebum’s heart stuttered in his chest.

“Of course. What did you have in mind?”

“Well, I want to show you something. but I’m not telling what it is until we get there, okay?” Youngjae said with a cheeky smile stepping into Jaebum’s personal space. Jaebum’s heart jumps again.

“Get wher—?” He’s cut of by Youngjae grabbing him by the wrist, making him drop his haphazardly piled blankets and dragging him out of his room, grabbing Jaebum’s bus pass from his shelf on the way out. 

Youngjae may not look particularly strong but, boy, did he have some power stored up in his thin, little body. He pulled Jaebum by the wrist all the way until they reached the bus stop only letting go for a brief moment before when that bus shows up so that he could grab Jaebum’s hand. His heart skips another beat. He should probably get that checked out. The last thing he needs is to pass out and die from some heart irregularity just when Youngjae has started holding his hand. 

Youngjae leads the way onto the bus and sits down close to the back, never letting go of Jaebum’s hand. Jaebum is seriously considering investing in a pace maker. 

They sit together on the bus, Youngjae pressed right up close to Jaebum’s side. He has no idea where they are headed but the excitement and nervous energy radiating through Youngjae is enough to have him feeling giddy too. Or it might be the fact that Youngjae is pressed up against his side from knee to shoulder, their entwined hands resting on their lap. 

They spend the bus ride in relative silence, neither of them feeling the need to fill it. Eventually Youngjae leans his head down onto Jaebum’s shoulder and stares out the window at the setting sun. And Jaebum might just die with the way his heart is pounding against his ribs. He wouldn’t be surprised if Youngjae could feel it. 

Jaebum is reminded of the first sunset they saw together at the carnival. Well, not really together because Youngjae had spent the whole ride with his face buried in Jaebum’s chest. But just like that time, in the silence he wanted to take a moment to catalogue this feeling. To file it away under Ways Youngjae Makes Me Feel That Don’t Have Names or maybe Things That Are Good with aftternoon naps and a cup of hot coffee on a cold winter’s day. With seeing an old friend after a long time apart or watching feel good movies at home on a rainy Sunday. 

Jaebum is staring at their entwined fingers, lost in the feeling of being close to someone you care about so inexplicably deeply. They haven’t even known each other for long but it doesn’t matter. There is something that’s just so easy about the way Youngjae makes him feel. He would do anything to make sure Youngjae know that there are people that care about him. Jaebum can already feel something he can’t put a name to unfurling in his chest, right next to his frantically beating heart. Maybe on day he’ll have the courage or the words to tell Youngjae about the tiny flowers blooming next to his heart. Blooming in sync with the wild flowers in the cooling evening air of late spring but for now he will watch Youngjae watch the sunset and he will feel content with his little secret. 

But even now, the flowers push towards his throat begging to see the light of day. For the world to know that they are there, blooming for Youngjae alone. 

Youngjae lifts his head from Jaebum’s shoulder and he immediately misses the warmth. 

“We’re here” He says standing and letting go of Jaebum’s hand as they get off the bus. 

They appear to have stopped at the edge of a forested area, Youngjae making his way toward the tree line leaving Jaebum to trail after him. The last ray of the setting sun illuminates the path through the forest and just as the final beam of light disappears the two boy arrive at the edge of a clearing. 

Youngjae immediately walks out into the knee length grass before turning to extend a hand to Jaebum, beckoning him to follow. Jaebum stops for a brief moment to admire the way the purple dusk light softens youngjae’s face. the way his shirt hangs from his body makes him look soft and vulnerable. Jaebum knows that he’s anything but that. Youngjae is one of the strongest people he knows. 

Over the months that they have spent together Jaebum has learned a few new things about Youngjae. He learned that he came all the way from a small town in the country side, just like Jinyoung actually, and that he came here to pursue his dream of singing and becoming a music therapist. Unlike Jinyoung though, Youngjae had done everything against the will of his parents. He had decided that he would study music no matter the cost and he had ended up with a full ride scholarship to their university after winning some vocal competition and he had moved out to start school in the second semester. 

That was also one of the reasons he felt that everyone already had someone by the time he arrived on campus. Like some third wheel straggler no matter what group he was with. 

Since the night he ran away everyone had been making more of an effort to make sure he felt included and their little groups had been hanging out all together much more frequently. Jaebum could safely say that the seven of them were friends. It felt nice to have somewhere that everyone could belong. 

Jaebum must have zoned out for a little too long because Youngjae had sheepishly retracted his hand in much the same manner as the first time they met. 

“Sorry. I know this isn’t much but I was trying to think of some way to thank you and then I though maybe I could take you somewhere. Then I remember that I’m a broke college student and I could probably only afford McDonalds and I’m trying to thank you not kill you so it probably wouldn’t be the best idea and then I thought maybe I would take you somewhere that’s kinda special to me. But we can go home if you want .” Youngjae said letting out a shaky breath and lowering his eyes to the ground. Jaebum stepped into the clearing grabbing Youngjae by the hand and pulling him farther into the clearing where the grass was a little shorter. 

“What do you have to thank me for?”

“Well, I know you said that when I won you that cat plushie we were even but I still didn’t feel like it was enough. You didn’t even know me but Bambam and Yugeom ask for your help and you helped. You didn’t have to but, you did anyways. You didn’t have to let me sleep in your bed and you didn’t have to take me to the carnival even though you said that would make us even that didn’t make any sense because I had a lot of fun where all I’ve ever done is inconvenience you. And most importantly, I guess, is that you didn’t have to keep being my friend but you did and basically you’ve done a lot of things for me that you didn’t have to so I wanted to do my best to pay you back even though this could barely put a dent in everything I owe you for.”

 

“You don’t owe me anything.” Jaebum said, dropping Youngjae’s hand and turning to face him. “I didn’t do any of those things because I felt obligated. Maybe it sort of started that way when I came to find you that first night. But I didn’t stay up all night with you because I wanted something from you. I didn’t lend you my bed or take you to the carnival because I wanted you to owe me something and I certainly didn’t continue to be your friend because I wanted anything from you.”

 

Jaebum tilted his head to the sky “God, Youngjae,” he sighed and fixed his gaze back on the boy standing in front of him. You’re important to me. And if anyone ever tried to hurt you, I don’t know what I’d do. All the things I did? I did them because I genuinely like spending time around you. I guess I can only hope you feel the same.”

Youngjae was looking down at his shoes, a blush crawling up his neck to the tips of his ears and the apples of his cheeks .

“You’re important to me too, Jaebum, and I’ll stay by your side as long as you want me to. 

It was truly dark know the silvery crescent moon hung high in the sky, surrounded by hundreds of tiny, glittering stars. Youngjae pointed upward as a tiny streak of light flashed across the sky. 

“A shooting star!” he exclaim grabbing Jaebum’s hand and pulling him further into the field. 

“We should star gaze” Youngjae exclaimed. “You can see so many more constellations out here than you can in the city.”

Jaebum agreed and the two of them lay down side by side hands still entwined as they stare up at the stars. Little fireflies begin to lift off the grass around them. 

“The reason wanted to bring you here was because it reminds me of home.” Youngjae said. “Out behind my house there is this huge field and at night you can’t move for all the fireflies. I used to be so scared of them that my mom told me if they land on you it was good luck and she would kiss me wherever they would land.”

As Youngjae finished his story a little firefly fluttered down and landed on Jaebum’s cheek just for a brief moment. There was a beat of silence before the two boys burst out laughing . 

The sudden loud noise in the otherwise quiet field startled all of the fireflies and hundreds of the little bugs lifted off into the air, adding a hundred little yellow lights to the sky that was already crowded with stars. The two boys lapse back into silence as they watch the tiny lights flicker and dance above them. 

Jaebum hears Youngjae shift beside him but he still jumps a little when something soft and a little dry presses against his cheek. It’s gone before he can really even register what is happening. Then his eyes widen in bleated surprise. Youngjae just kissed him. Oh my god, Youngjae just kissed him! 

Jaebum turns his head to look at Youngjae whose eyes are already back on the stars. He raises an eyebrow in question, knowing that Youngjae could see him in his peripheral vision. 

“A firefly kiss,” Youngjae states, “For luck.”

“Ah, I see.” Jaebum shuffles a little closer in the grass and leans in to press a quick kiss to Youngjae’s neck, just below his ear. 

Youngjae’s eyes snap wide open and he slaps a hand over the spot Jaebum kissed, embarrassment flooding his entire face. 

Youngjae swallows and asks, “Did I have a firefly on me too?”

“No. I just wanted to see what would happen if I kissed you.”

“And what happened?”

“I want to do it again.”

“Oh.”

There are a couple beats of silence. Tension building in the air before Jaebum can’t take it anymore.

“Can I kiss you agai—woah… okay.”Jaebum is cut off by Youngjae rolling over so that he is practically lying on top of Jaebum, lips mere centimetres apart. He can feel Youngjae’s breath on his lips and he’s completely frozen. Unable to comprehend that this is really happening. Youngjae’s eyes dart up to meet Jaebum’s eyes and then he’s leaning in and oh god, oh GOD this is happening and has Jaebum even brushed his teeth today and what if it’s really bad and then oh god Youngjae’s lips are on his and its not bad at all. In fact, its amazing. Youngjae’s lips are soft and a little dry, sliding against his and then Youngjae’s fingers are in his hair and he’s shifting his weight so he’s straddling Jaebum’s hips and placing little kisses on his cheeks and forehead before trailing down to his jaw, just underneath his ear where he starts to nibble and suck. Jaebum lifts his hand into Youngjae’s hair and lets out a contented sigh. 

Youngjae pulls back to look at Jaebum’s face. Jaebum knows that he must look similar to Youngjae right now. Same half-lidded eyes, same mussed up hair, same blissed out, contented smile. Youngjae giggles a little and buries his face in Jaebum’s shoulder before rolling off of him and back into the grass. 

“Are we dating now?” Jaebum asks.

“We kind of were already.”

“Can I call you my boyfriend then?”

“You can call me whatever you want. I already said I’ll stay by your side as long as you’ll have me.”

“So the making out is just and added bonus?”

“More like a logical next step?”

“Hmmmm.” Jaebum hummed rolling onto his side and pulling Youngjae close to him. Youngjae turned and looked at him eyebrows raised in question. 

“I don’t have Nora here to cuddle.”

“Nora?”

“That cat you won me at the fair.”

“Ah”

Jaebum pressed his face into the back of Youngjae’s neck inhaling deeply, taking in the scent of grass and fabric softener and something that was just so uniquely Youngjae. He pressed a kiss to the nape of Youngjae’s neck and let sleep over take him as he basked in the warmth radiating from the boy in his arms and he vowed that he would never let Youngjae get lost again.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you all enjoy this! Also if you want i have a tumblr where I post more kpop stuff. thegarbagecan.tumblr.com


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